What if Time Stood Still?

Would you notice?

People say all the time that they want a moment to last or if time could stop right now so I can enjoy something. Unfortunately, even if you had the ability to freeze time, you wouldn’t notice.

The only reason we can enjoy things is because we notice the passage of time. From one second to the next the world around us changes, gets a little older, and what we are really enjoying is that passage of time.

Think about it. Your day off, that beautiful sunrise, that movie you enjoy, that song that makes the rest of the world melt away. These are the things we want to last so we can enjoy them. But if time really stopped and we all stood still, we would freeze too. We wouldn’t be able to enjoy what it is we want to stop time for.

What we really want is for our favorite moments to be on a time loop.

No, not to the extreme of Groundhog Day, though I’m sure there are the days we wish would never end, but it would be nice to be able to hit a button and relive a moment over and over again.

Or a rewind button so we can do something over and see what the new outcome is.

Why didn’t life come with a remote control like Click?

Oh yeah, because it worked out so well for Adam Sandler…

Either way, we don’t want time to freeze. The passage of time is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s what allows us to see the good things in our life.

And we definitely need to witness them.


Hello 2019

This past year has been the worst year of my life. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true.

Last year my mother gave my three youngest siblings to their father, which means I am no longer allowed to see them. Apparently when my mother divorced him, I did too and became “the enemy” so until the younins turn 18, I’m not going to see them.

I also ended my relationship with my fiancee of 8 years. Yes this was my decision but I had finally seen the light to what he really was. I realized I was being controlled and manipulated. He wanted a threesome so bad he for years worked in me to get me to want it to and would get all pissy when I didn’t. I loved him but he wasn’t the man I needed him to be and clearly was not what he wanted. So I left, because I deserve more.

The highlight of my year was meeting Zach, the guy I am currently with. He helped me in so many ways; with my mental health, my physical health, learning who I am post-Scott. Through everything he has been my rock and even if we don’t stay together romantically, I know he is a person I can count on to be there for me.

My family hates him, which is new for me, but I’m dealing. He is an asshole with his own demons but what they don’t understand is that we are working on them together. They don’t understand why I’m with him and they worry that my demons mixed with his are a “dangerous cocktail”. But they have pushed me away enough so they can’t see the new me. Sucks to be them I suppose.

Last year was horrible. My world was thrown upside-down and I pretty much had to start from scratch. But I survived.

I survived and this year? This year will be fantastic.